Waifus
by Mystia Katsuragi
Summary: This is what happens when a random stranger asks a proud otaku to go on a date with him. Kousaka Kirino x her waifus. Image is not mine.


_**Waifus**_

Shortly after returning from America, our favorite tsundere otaku had just finished a work-related photo shoot, which was held outside Tokyo's beloved "anime" district: the technologically-inclined Akihabara. After parting ways with Ayase for the day, Kirino decided to take a short stroll around the area, instead of immediately heading home.

"I've been here before—many times, actually—but never by myself," she thought aloud as she strutted along the sidewalk, her _Stardust Witch Meruru_-themed messenger bag hanging from her left shoulder. "I was always accompanied by someone else—that self-righteous cosplayer or my creepy siscon of a brother or Ayase—but now I can do whatever I want without anyone following me everywhere."

Her baby-blue eyes were fixated on the windows displays that she walked past; she seemed to be searching for a specific type of store. She continued her window-shopping spree, sparing a moment or two to admire the more fashionable outfits and accessories when she saw them, but she never stepped into any of the shops, remaining on the lookout for a particular place.

After some time, she skidded to an abrupt stop, and her blue eyes widened in excitement. She nearly burst into joyuos laughter, and she broke into a run, heading for the videogame store located several meters from her current position. However, when she was less than one meter from the entrance, she rammed into a man, and she fell against the concrete as a result of this impact.

"Ouch!" she cried out in pain, pressing the palm of her right hand against the knee that scraped against the ground, attempting to prevent it from bleeding. "What was that for, you jerk? You just knocked me over! Apologize to me, right now!"

The man looked at Kirino, who flinched in surprise upon noticing how much he towered over her in height. She briefly considered recalling her insult, but her enormous pride prevented her from doing so.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, a genuinely worried expression on his face. He extended his hands to her while adding, "I didn't mean to knock you over. Here, take my hands: I'll help you get up."

For a second, the girl simply sat there, debating over whether or not she should accept the assistance of a stranger. When she saw the nearly bulging muscles in his arms, she became somewhat afraid of being hurt by the man if she refused his offer. With a quiet grunt, she quickly grabbed hold of his hands and pulled herself onto her feet with them.

"Thanks," she said to him as she dusted off her black skirt. "I really appreciate your help. It was very nice of you." She faked a dazzling smile out of false gratitude for his generosity. "If you'll excuse me, I'll be going now, so..."

She stepped to the side so she could advance past him, but much to her surprise, the man blocked her path. Kirino concealed her budding irritation before calmly requesting, "Please move out of my way. I'm heading in this direction, and you're standing—gah!"

He grasped her hands again, and the blonde gasped in shock and disgust, the latter of which was less evident. His forest-green eyes met with hers, and Kirino resisted her increasing urge to kick the muscular male in the crotch.

With a stupidly wide grin spreading across his countenance, he told the attractive blonde, "I'd really like to hang out with you. Do you mind if I take you out somewhere?"

Kirino's open-mouthed frown indicated her opinion of this plan—she absolutely rejected it—yet this man did not seem to notice the disdained expression that was clearly visible on the girl's visage.

"I'll go wherever you want," he continued, elaborating on his plan. "I can take you out to eat, or we could see a movie, or we could do both. There's a cute cafe nearby with great cheeseburgers and absolutely fantastic lemonade, so it's perfect on a hot summer day like this one. Oh, and I've heard of a really hilarious movie that's playing right now. We can go there after we eat, or we could eat afterward; which would you rather do first?"

She almost blurted out her true thoughts—"I don't want to do anything with a weirdo like you"—but the man was probably very strong, and he seemed aggressive enough to forcefully persuade someone into doing what he wants them to do, so she caught herself before making a fatal mistake. Out of desperation, she considered accepting his proposal, but upon taking note of the _Meruru_ bag in her peripheral vision, she thought of a superior solution to this problem, one which only she could pull off.

"That sounds like a great idea," she lied smoothly, a barely noticeable smirk forming on her glossy pink lips, "but I'd like to bring my waifus along."

The man's eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion at this declaration. "What are you talking about?" he wondered, lessening the force of his grip on Kirino's wrists. "What in the world is a 'waifu?' How many of them do you have?"

She beamed as she exclaimed, "I'm so glad you asked! I'd love to show them to you!" Without receiving permission from the startled stranger, she retrieved an object from the front pocket of her messenger bag, and she thrust it at the man, holding it in front of his face. "This is Meru Akaboshi, also known as Stardust Witch Meruru! She's the title character of the anime, and even though she's only in fourth grade, she has to fight these monsters called Demon Star Beings to protect the planet! She's such a brave girl, and I love her so much!"

She hugged the nendoroid against her chest, careful not to break off a piece of the figurine, and the male stared at her happy face with a hint of horror in his green eyes. He did not have the chance to comment on Kirino's prized doll or her obvious interest in it; before he opened his mouth to say something, the blonde returned Meru to her bag and brought out another figurine.

"This is another one of my waifus, Alpha Omega! Her real name is Kuno Misaki, and she's Meru's best friend! The two were walking together when the meteor collided with Earth, so they're both magical girls, but they have to conceal their secret identities from each other—"

"Uhm, that's alright," the man told Kirino, interrupting her rant. "I don't really want to know about your...uhm, 'waifus.'" He smiled, although it was obviously a little forced, and he admitted, "I'd rather learn about you."

If he said that sentence to any normal adolescent girl, then she would have probably complied with his request and told him everything there is to know about her, but this is Kousaka Kirino, who suits the phrase 'normal adolescent girl' as well as a young girl's shoe fits into the foot of an adult male.

An enraged glint lit up her blue eyes like fireworks, and she glared at the muscular man, who once again found himself too startled to say a word. Still holding the figurine of Kuno in her right hand, she picked up her one of Meru from her bag, then she held the two in front of the man, keeping them directly in his line of vision.

"You are learning about me!" she declared, slowly moving the dolls up and down in front of his face. "Meru and Kuno are my waifus! They're, like, a part of me! You can't expect to understand anything about me unless you get to know them first!" With a stern expression on her face, she added, "The same holds true for all of my other waifus! They're all important to me!"

Horror spread across the male's facial features, and in a shaking tenor, he quietly murmured, "There are even more of them?" When the otaku vigorously nodded her head in confirmation, he shuddered in terror and spun around, then he started to walk in the opposite direction, toward the videogame store.

Satisfied by the success of her plan, Kirino decided to make the ending more pleasant for her by loudly calling to the man, "I thought we were going to watch anime together!"

His body jolted when he came face to face with the energetic blonde, who ran in the same direction as he did and jumped into his path when she reached him, an action which frightened him to tears. He vigorously shook his head at her as he shouted, "I'm sorry, but I don't want to go out with you anymore! Please move out of my way!"

He shoved past her and broke into the fastest run Kirino had ever seen, screaming in fear as he raced across the road. As the automobiles honked their horns at the green-eyed man, the female otaku showed a satisfied smirk, proud of the terror she had inflicted on the poor stranger.

"That was fun," she said to the magical girl figurines that she still held in her hands, giggling cheerfully at them. The giggle soon transformed into maniacal laughter, which startled the citizens around her more than the screaming man from a few moments ago. Kirino forced herself to cease her laughter, and when she turned on her heels, heading for the videogame store that she had previously set her destination to, she smiled again at her imaginary 'waifus,' who had no choice but to return the gesture. Glancing back at the fleeing stranger, she happily reminded the dolls, "I'll be counting on your support next time, as well."

* * *

><p><em>Author's Notes<em>:_ This is based on something that happened to me yesterday (26 March 2012). I figured I could modify it a bit and turn it into an Ore no Imouto fanfic, replacing myself with Kirino. She behaved a little differently than I did, though. XD; I don't think it's too bad, but maybe that's just my opinion, ahaha. And I promise to write my Rune Factory and Madoka Magica fanfics eventually ;-; but for now, I will sleep. As usual, critiques are appreciated~_


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